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“It’s all about you!” is an advertising slogan that seems to pop up often these days.  Messages such as this are obviously targeting individuals who actually believe “It’s all about me.”  This type of thinking is now prevalent and acceptable, but I ask, is it conducive to a happy, meaningful life?

I definitely recommend that people take good care of themselves physically, emotionally, mentally and spiritually.  If they do not, they run the risk of getting so depleted or even ill that they cease to be productive and are scarcely available to give attention, help or love to others.  A nice metaphor for this is found in the preflight safety instructions you are given on a plane:  Put your oxygen mask on before assisting others.

But frankly, while I know a few people who are almost always giving to others and not replenishing themselves, I’d say this does not describe the majority of people in our culture.  We have become a culture of individuals so engrossed in ourselves and the pursuit of ease, comfort and pleasures, that we accept self-centeredness as the norm.   “Be selfish and indulge yourself,” advertisers command.  And we obey.

But with all our pampering and primping, travelling, spa-ing, and delegating or shirking of responsibilities, do you think we’re one iota happier than our harder working, giving, serving, sacrificing counterparts in other places or times in history?  I’m no sociologist, just an interested observer, but I contend we are not happier.  Look around.  Just one indicator of our sad state is the rampant use of both prescription and illicit drugs.

The great teachers and texts of yoga have made clear the folly of a life lived only for self-gratification.  Yoga advocates selfless service to others as the means to overcoming egotistical tendencies.  We can only experience true happiness and peace when we come to understand our true nature and our true purpose in life.  To perform actions without any expectation of reward, not even praise, allows our inner goodness to flourish.  Whether it’s getting involved with an adult literacy program, helping with a highway litter cleanup, or just assisting a friend with a difficult task, try engaging in some selfless service.

Feel your heart expand and your mental burdens lighten as you affirm, “It’s not all about me: it’s about all of us.”

After class, a yoga student frets, “I just can’t keep my thoughts from racing.  You’re asking us to focus, but my mind is jumping all over the place.”  As exasperated as she may be, this student has just taken an important step toward controlling what in yoga we call the “monkey mind.”  She has become the witness of her thoughts and become aware of the nature of her mind.

When yoga and meditation novices first attempt to concentrate, whether on the breath, an area of the body, a mantra, a symbol, or some other a focal point, they are often shocked to realize how difficult the task is.  Many, I’m afraid, turn away from their practice very early on, convinced that they are just not cut out for this sort of thing.

Rest assured, those of you who have become discouraged with your first attempts to quiet your mind:  there is hope.  Just think—it took you three, or four or maybe even seven decades to create your current mental habits.  You’re certainly not going to tame that monkey mind in three classes.

In the beginning, be content to learn how your mind operates.  Witness how it follows one train of thought and then takes a tangent, then another tangent and yet another.  And notice what types of thoughts prevail.  Are they reminiscences, plans, worries, self-criticism or the rehashing of conversations?  Just notice.

As you delve into yoga or meditation, certainly heed your teacher’s guidance and reminders to reign in your mind, but give yourself some slack.  Always treat yourself with love and patience.  Understand that these practices may take a lifetime to fully master.  But every bit of effort on the path to becoming your highest self is valuable.

It seems to me that most people live as slaves to their minds, cowering under the lash of obsession, worry, craving, judgment, resentment, and other life-sapping mental manifestations.  You can learn to be the master of your mind instead of its slave.  First, just grasp the nature of the beast.

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